I got back late, went to the Sports Page with some of the others after the musical. Probably for the best, was feeling a little down. Well, more than a little. Dunno what's wrong with me, my self-esteem's been so low lately... I've been feeling like I'm not good enough for anything or anyone. Why do I feel like this? Wish it'd stop.
The third performance was good, I suppose, but we had a different pianist who kinda screwed things up, honestly. But that was in the first act, Act 2 went off without a hitch, to be fair.
My mystery illness has been harassing me in the form of sneezes today. And a lot of them. Thankfully not onstage (one almost got me but I held it back in time). And of course my voice doesn't work for singing until after the show ended. Ugh.
Given that this is Saturday right now, my birthday is in three days. Still not looking forward to being older.
I need to find more ways to be positive. Self-esteem needs work, but I've never really had any so I don't know what to do. I don't want to keep feeling like this. I wonder if it's a cycle where people avoid me because I'm depressed and I think they hate me in the first place and so it's a sort of self-fulfilling prophecy?
Karma had better exist, because if this is all I get without some big payoff later on I'll be really ticked.
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