Running on empty

I did a little mental math today. I figured out how much sleep I've gotten over the last three nights or so...

Less than ten hours.

It's a miracle I'm still alive, probably, so I will try to keep this short for both our sakes.

Things have been stressing me out, so I suppose the insomnia is only natural, but the issue at hand we've been discussing is still getting to me. Blarg. Break will give me some time to get away from this all, I guess. I just... yeah. Somebody who figured out that I like this girl said something today, I don't think she meant it in the way it sounded, but she said "I hope she isn't making a mistake." I guess that means her not getting hurt, but... based on what I've been told this guy's not very good at all. People don't change that easily, not as far as I've ever seen.

Or did you really mean you thought she'd be better off with him? I hope not. Look, I really don't think you meant it that way, but it came off sounding like it... if you don't want her to get hurt, that's fine, but you really want her to take a risk with a very potentially abusive guy? Is that really what you want? And you'd rather have her with that guy than take a chance with me, who at least we know would make a hell of an attempt to be a good boyfriend?

All I'm saying is, don't you dare, DON'T YOU DARE put somebody like that guy ahead of me. I've had enough of that in my lifetime already, and I'm sick of it. Sometimes we have to go through pain to get to something that's actually good. That's why I'm still enduring this. I'm hoping the future will bring what I want.

Because if it doesn't, I think I'm done with other people...